Being braver...

Back when I was restricting my food intake to 300 calories per day I use to make lists.  They would consist of all the food I wished I could eat, the food I would eat if I was allowed.  The thing about restricting is that EVERYTHING suddenly becomes a huge temptation.  I suppose if your body is crying out for nutrients, energy and love you will naturally gravitate towards cake and such like. 

This is a precursor to a video which I am planning.  I've had so many requests for a 'What I eat after anorexia' video that I think I must get my arse into gear and film it.  I plan to do this later on in the summer.

When I had a LiveJournal, millenniums ago, I made such a list.  It was very long, full of cakes and biscuits and crisps, stuff which I'm not actually all that fond of. 

A list of my favourite foods now shows that my eating habits are much healthier, and more reflective of my actual food preferences, rather than what my starved body was crying out for.

• I love toast: White bread, always.  I buy a low calorie brand, but I'm working on that.
• Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Frozen Yoghurt:  This is love in a tub. 
• Ham sandwiches:  My sandwich of choice.  I'm quite picky really, although I avoid buying the low calorie versions nowadays because I realised they taste like wank.  Usually I make my own with proper ham bought from the butcher - I'm so not down with the mass produced cheap rubbish. 
• Smoothie and juice:  They make me happy, especially juice from a juice bar.

 I do realise of course that my diet is still quite restricted, (not that I only eat the above of course), but I'm trying to get new foods into my diet.  They are lots of things I would like to try, but unfortunately one bad experience with food tends to put me off for life.  Prawns for example: I had some in London on Wednesday and they were really yummy until I noticed one of them hadn't had the little black vein bit taken out properly.  It made me feel rather queasy so I didn't eat anymore, and I don't think I will ever again. 

I just need to be braver.  I'm going to try and take advantage of any opportunities to try new foods.